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Uncle Arthur Colonizes Mars for Google Indexing

 

No it’s not about the money! The oil companies would have killed Uncle Arthur if there were oil on Mars. My plan is simple. Colonize Mars before some other Earth-based organization turns it into a strip-mine, toxic dump, or CIA drug production zone. Why? Because Uncle Arthur wants his Superbloggers to have a good example of leadership. Also we can use Mars as a base to create the Google Indexing Society.

mars01.jpg

How can this be done???? It’s not so hard, really. We just leave Congress out of the planning so it doesn’t get sold out to Exxon, Shell or a pharmaceutical firm. We will colonize it in the name of “Web Template Blog.” Once the colony is fully functioning we will work with Google for a better Indexed world of the web.

First Step: We will launch a small missile from the back of a high altitude transport jet (much less espensive than using NASA’s archaic straight up against gravity launches - dramatic but stupid). This Mars-bound missile will carry a mix of biosludge and amino acids with a dash of stem cells and genome pieces of numerous species - to get life on Mars jump started and More Earth-like.

Second Step: Using Uncle Arthur’s patented “Flector Technology” TM* - we will use the electronic “wave glove” to project directly to the Mars landing site a series of small electric impulses to get that “life cocktail” going up there.

Third Step: We will follow in two years with some colonists - a group composed of techies, androids with special functions and people who want to escape New Orleans.

Fourth Step: After renewable agriculture and industry are underway we will build the new WTB Indexing Center. This will be the cornerstone of a civilization dedicated to a Google-friendly society.

Fifth Step: Interview JaY Leno for the “Tonight Show - Mars” - with special Guest Appearances by “Bobby D,” “Mister New York” himself Robert DeNiro - and - Bill “Techie 1″ Gates.

mars02.jpg

In the meantime, superbloggers, do not forget the Principles of the Unified Index Field Theory:

PageRank - The higher your PageRank the more you will be indexed because the spider does a deeper crawl.

Links - Especially deep links from a high PageRank sites are powerful in algorithm factoring.

Internal Links - Links to your important pages from your homepage and on content pages link to your other relevant content pages.

Sitemap - A well laid out Sitemap can get all your pages indexed.

Speed - Page load time affects how many pages get indexed.

Verify - Be sure content is original.

When everything is functional and we are the envy of Earth we will allow some tourism (see below the photo of a Mars theme Park design to use the forces generated by obese Earth children on a rollercoaster to power our civilization without fossil fuel).

mars04.jpg

When Tomorrow looks like yesterday . . .
Uncle Arthur “Mars Man” Browning

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 24th, 2008 at 5:40 am and is filed under Web Templates. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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